I remember the first time I ever felt the closeness to Source. I was dealing with intense depression, anxiety, PTSD. My mental health was in shatters. I hated myself. I wanted to die. I had no where else to turn. Religion only made me feel much worse. Praying got me no where. Other forms of distraction I have used in the past such as reading or cooking no longer worked for me. I could not concentrate. I was crying all the time. I was in a constant torment that even sleep could not alleviate. I felt I was doomed.

I went on a trip to see if a change of environment would help. It did until I reached my destination. The quagmire was enveloping me at a fast rate. In desperation I pulled my car into a park. There was hardly anyone around and I could be by myself without any disturbances. I had nature surrounding me, the only company I wanted to be with at the time. I started to feel comfortable again.

Since I had internet service on my cellphone, I decided to try a guided meditation. I found one called Mindfulness Meditation*. With my earphones on, I was able to apply this meditation. It was so successful, I actually passed out after listening to it one time. Thank goodness I was in the backseat of my car doing this. When I woke up, I felt renewed in a way I never felt before. It was like all this negativity was removed out of my being. I had clarity, rejuvenation of the mind. And I was encased in this feeling of pure love. Joy and bliss replaced the sadness.

I got out and walked amongst the nature. I can feel its energy. I was able to communicate with the plants, trees, wildlife. The interpretation of these transmissions were different than interfacing with other humans. It all came directly from Source. It showed me I was loved and that emotion permeated within. I have never experienced this in my life. The only comparison I had was the strong connection I shared with my cat. No human being ever loved me on this level.

Despite this feeling fleeting away by the end of my trip, I was so lucky to have felt it. The only way I can replicate it is by meditating. Afterwards it takes time to develop but when it does, its the best. You notice a difference, even when around other people. You actually feel you are glowing, like your energy centers have been activated. This alignment is a wonderful place to be. It is just hard, in this world, to constantly maintain this composure of love. Constantly guarding your energy while staying in love and light gets tiring. But when I go out into nature, it stirs up the positive particles. It happens each time. I feel I belong there. Not in the human world of negativity.

I am still learning as I go along my spiritual path. It is extremely difficult especially in my current living situation. There is constant bombardment of hostility at home and in my surroundings. The only escape is nature herself. A reminder to continue in my spirituality because in the end I will transition back into the source of love.

*The Honest Guys - Meditations - Relaxation. 2015, March 15. Mindfulness Meditation - Guided 10 Minutes. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p_yaNFSYao