Last month, I was going through a stressful, depressing moment in my life. I wanted to leave the environment I was in and go back home. I was feeling down and could not write or do any quality work. My flow of thoughts were constantly being blocked. These obstacles were preventing me from making any progress. It was frustrating. I lost initiative and drive to do anything productive. I was ready to give up.

Out of desperation I left that place of despair and came back to my familiar environment at home. The day before, ideas and creativity started pouring in. I was getting my motivation back. I knew once I left the unhappy past behind I could flourish. I was looking forward to getting back on track again.

Except once I got back the opposite happened. Instead of getting busy I got caught up catching up to the demands having been gone so long, I needed to deal with matters since my absence. My energy is being consumed and I cannot focus on what I want to accomplish. I feel like I cannot win.

I like to keep a positive mindset about life. I want to be upbeat and not be influenced by the outside world. Especially since I just left a place of gloom and doom. It might be because I have only been back two days and need time to adapt to an improved setting. Instead all I want to do is sulk rather than celebrate. Its conflicting why I feel this way.

Dealing with contrast is very exhausting. I want my vitality and zest back. The longer I stay away from the humdrum existence, the faster I heal. My mental and physical health took a toll this past month. The effects of this are still lingering despite my outlook. It is like a bad hangover that just sticks after the alcohol has left the body. It takes awhile to detox from the toxic overload of negativity.

This is why it is very important to guard your energy. Placing a barrier between you and the harmful elements is a must in order to preserve your being from becoming contaminated. It is crucial to stay grounded when you are forced to turn your attention towards a low vibration presence. I was so tired and drained I had to tap into my reserves in order to function on a basic level. I would never wish this on anyone. Once upon a time I thought this was what life was about. Dwelling in the negative. Wanting an end to this life. I had removed myself from this and learned a new way of living. I could never see myself wanting to return to this mindset.

I am grateful for the Higher Power and angelic realm for helping me through this. I called upon them a lot when I was going through this tough transition. Now that I can refuel my vigor I know that what I went through this past month was necessary. It will make me stronger and wiser. Contrast is crucial for elevation of existence. Staying comfortable does not allow one to grow spiritually. I am grateful for this moment where I was challenged and will use this opportunity towards to advance my progress in the know.